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Q I’ve been married for 12 years, unhappy for the last few but don’t want to get divorced because of my kids. Five of my close friends are divorced and seem happier now.
Q. I get really turned on when my partner kisses me during sex. Do you have any ideas?
You’re absolutely on the mark. A study out of the University of Albany showed men initiate open-mouth kissing to transfer libido-boosting testosterone to their partner.
Q. I opened our family computer and discovered my 14-year-old has visited several porn sites. I have no idea what to do. I’m worried about viruses and predators, but mostly dread talking to him.
A big reason this is a difficult topic is we never say ‘porn’ around kids. Yet, it is now a modern truth: once your kid has unsupervised access to the internet, they will eventually see porn.
Understand your stance on porn and, more importantly, why. It’s not good enough to ban porn from your computer; you need to explain your personal and family values.
Q. My husband and I have a fantastic relationship, except I’ve never orgasmed with him and it’s starting to bother me. Should I be happy orgasming on my own and not with my husband?
Thank you for bringing up this very important topic. It’s often more complicated for women to orgasm during intercourse than men but often very little is done to change this sexual bedroom dynamic.
It doesn’t sound like you are among the 10% of women who can’t orgasm due to physical conditions, medication or illness.
Q. I’ve noticed my teenage son has ‘sticky’ sheets. Does this mean he’s having wet dreams and should I talk to him about it?
Even though both teenage boys and girls experience this, wet dreams are more prevalent in boys as puberty increases his testosterone production.
While sleeping our dreams can conjure up images, which are pleasant, nasty or why-did-I-eat-that-pizza-before-bed confusing. When we experience pleasure in our dreams, our mind tells our body to feel it too. As our sexy dream reaches orgasm, sometimes our bodies experience the sensations as well
Q. Is it normal for a happily married woman to fantasise?
It is very normal and yet women fantasising is a touchy topic. To put fantasy into perspective, it’s okay for women to daydream about chocolate or a new outfit … but the morality police have somehow convinced her that daydreaming about ‘getting it on’ is not acceptable.
Q. I’ve been with my husband for three years and had a very good sex life. We had a baby boy five months ago and haven’t had sex once. I have tried many times to get my partner into bed. At first he made excuses but last week he blurted he sees me as a mum and respects me too much to have sex.
This is classic ‘mother-lover’ complex. Some men see women in two ways: before she was the mother of his child she was his lover; once baby arrives he now sees her as a mother and finds it hard to mix the two roles.