first day at school
Education

First day at school

The first day at school is never easy. It’s fraught with nerves and emotions – both from child and parents. But there are things you can do to help ease the process of your little one’s first day at school.

1. It is important that you establish a good routine early.

Check that all items – uniform, bag, lunch boxes etc – are ready for the morning. Do this in a calm fashion and don’t have your child over-excited or anxious going to bed. Give plenty of time in the morning for dressing, washing and eating a good breakfast.

2. On the big day, if you are feeling upset, don’t show it.

Leave your child with the teacher, and tell the child you will be back at the appropriate time to collect him/her. If your child is upset, trust the teacher. The teacher is experienced and knows how to comfort an anxious child. Sometimes a small toy from home can be a comfort.

3. New friends

Try not to worry about them being left out of things. There may be the familiar faces of friends from the neighbourhood as well as former classmates from pre-school. There will also be new faces – lots of potential new friends!

4. It is important that you arrive on time.

It is important that your child arrives at school before class starts as children can find it intimidating to walk into a class already in progress. And of course you have to arrive on time to collect your child. Children will become upset if they see other children being collected and feel they are being left behind.

5. It takes time to adapt to school life and routine.

Don’t expect too much too soon from your child. Talk to them about what happened and allow them to respond in their own way. If you ask “What did you learn today?” you will most likely be told, “Nothing!”. Most of the work at infant level is activity based and children do not understand ‘learning’ in the same way that adults do.

If, however, you ask “What did you do?” “Did you sing?”, “Did you draw?”, you will have more success.

6. Talk to the teacher. 

If you feel that your child is worried about something that is school related, talk to the teacher. They will have dealt with almost every issue you might experience.

7. Your child will be tired coming home from school.

It is expected that your child will be tired and, occasionally, may sleep for an hour or so when they arrive home. It is important to set a routine of a quiet time together and an early bedtime.

The emotional side:

Ensure you talk to your child and let them know what will happen on their big day.

  • Encourage your child to talk to you about their fears and try your best to reassure them.
  • The first day of school will be emotional for both you and your child – allow your child to cry (but try not to yourself!).
  • Do not overstay – five minutes is plenty of time in the classroom.
  • Explain to your child that it is time for you to leave, and that you will be back soon.
  • Ensure you are early for pick up, as your child may become stressed if they do not see you when school is finished.
  • Getting support from other parents may be helpful in the early days

More key advice from Irish National Teachers’ Organisation:
http://www.into.ie

More like this:

Making back to school transition easier
Homeschooling in Ireland
Is your child ready for school this September?

ASK LOUISE

Q My son is 18 months old and has just started saying his first words. It is an extremely exciting time in our house and my husband and I are eager to encourage his speaking as much possible. What advice would you give us on how we can foster this without bombarding and confusing him?

AThere is nothing better than hearing your baby begin to talk. All the hard work you have put in over the last two years is coming back tenfold.
Toddlers will vary significantly with ability and speed of which they talk however a guide would be about 50 words by 2 years of age. The most important thing to watch for is that your baby/toddler is cooing and babbling and begins to string sounds together like “Mama/Dada” They should have a wide range of speech sounds and like to imitate you and things they hear.
There are many ways that you can promote Speech and Language development at home:
1. Slowing down your own speech and taking time over conversations with your little one. Every day is a new experience when you are 18 months, nappy changes, bath time, baking a cake brings endless opportunity for you to interact and offer new words for them to hear and repeat. Make eye contact, smile and use exaggerated tones to keep things interesting and fun for your tot.
2. Review the toys that you have on offer to your tot and ensure that they give plenty of open ended play opportunities. Role play is a wonderful way to allow children to take the lead. Kitchens with lots of plates, cups and pots. Fill the pots with dry pasta and allow your child to cook and serve you. Playdoh, painting, gardening and sandpits are also great for allowing your child to take the lead and babble about what they are doing. Read plenty of books together and point and allow them time to answer any questions that you ask.
3. Limit screen time. Overuse of televisions and iPads do not give your child opportunity to interact in a two way manner.
4. Ask your child lots of open ended questions “What’s that?” “Where are we?” Point at things they know the answer to for boosting confidence (Car/ Car, etc.) When they don’t know the answer, explain it to them. Limit baby talk and speak clearly with good pronunciation, remember you are the teacher and they will copy you.
If you are concerned about your child’s speech and language development, be sure to speak with your GP or developmental Health Nurse. They are very skilled at understanding the difference between speech delays and spotting something that may require professional attention.
Enjoy watching their little brains absorb the world around them and listen to what they have to say. It won’t be too long before they won’t stop talking to you, asking “Why Mummy/ Daddy?” every 5 minutes….

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
how to keep your children safe

How to keep your children safe

Krav Maga and self defence expert Patrick Cumisky outlines a number of approaches to help you keep your children safe and give you peace of mind.

MUST READ

Ask Allison

Q My sister-in-law and I both work three-day weeks and we help each
other out with child minding on our working days, which up until recently has worked out really well. Between us, our kids are aged between five and nine years – the problem is that it’s now become quite apparent that we have very different parenting styles. I prefer my two daughters (seven and nine) to have a structured day. For example, in my house, we have allocated times for television and iPads, etc. My sister-in-law, however, lets the kids run loose after school – homework is ignored and my kids end up wired after eating sugary treats all afternoon. I am considering looking at after-school childcare for the kids, but I’m worried that this is going to cause a family argument. Is there a diplomatic way that I can ask my sister-in-law to introduce some discipline into her child-minding days? It certainly doesn’t do her two kids any harm when I am minding them in my own house!

A
In a word, no, there is no diplomatic way to do this as it may very likely seem like your saying that your parenting style is better than
hers. As L’Óreal says, ‘now here comes the science bit.’ Dr. Kaylene
Henderson, a child psychiatrist, wrote a very interesting blog about ‘the
science behind the Mummy Wars’. She explains that before she had
children of her own she hadn’t been aware of how parents have a
very specific sense of the right parenting style. She also found that parents could be very definite in defending their chosen parenting style. Dr. Henderson, who describes herself as a curious, scientific, open-minded person, was surprised at how defensive parents could be and, at times, of their judgemental attitude towards each other. She explained the neurology of the Mummy Wars; okay, I’ll need you to bear with me for a second. Warning; I’m about to use some neuro-techie language.

Why do we judge each other?
As we have all had different experiences, this means that we all have very different memories stored in our brains. Most of our memories are ‘explicit’ memories – these are ones that we can recall easily such as important dates that mean something to us; important birthdays, special events or stories of and about our lives.
There is another type of memory called ‘implicit’ memory that plays a
key role in our parenting. This type of memory is the stuff that you do on autopilot. Psychologists call these heuristics or rules of thumb –
such as tying your shoelace, or driving your car (once you have learnt
to do both first!). Otherwise we’d really waste a huge amount of time
pondering over tasks that we have readily available to us. This seems to be where the science bit of our parenting style kicks in. This implicit memory goes all the way back to when you were an infant being parented by your parents. This is when you started the process of storing up how they did it into your memories.
Unless you make a conscious choice and effort to parent differently, what you saw and unconsciously learnt will be your automatic go-to parenting style.

We learn habits
This can really kick into gear when we feel our parenting style is
being mirrored or highlighted by disapproval from another parent. I know the cold sweat you feel when your child decides to make their outstanding bad behaviour performance at, of course, the most public and worst time. The implicit autopilot of how your parents dealt with these outbursts will flow unconsciously from you if you haven’t worked super hard to be aware and consciously change the old habits.
What’s happening for the on-looking parent is that they see you doing something they are used to doing, but you are doing it all wrong. Simply, because that is not how they know how to do it.

Find a way that works
You both have different parenting styles – who is to say which type is correct? You just need to know what works best for your family and that’s the bottom line. The irksome feelings won’t go away. You can talk to your sister-in-law, but I’m adding a caveat that it would be hard not to hurt her feelings. What we’re possibly looking at is that you prefer a more structured form of parenting, whereas your sister-in-law has a more permissive style. I’m not sure the two styles can mix, the mixture is a bit like oil and water.
If a collaborative shared form of parenting style can be agreed upon, then that is great, but our learnt hardwiring may prove difficult to change despite the intent to do so.
Perhaps, your own instinct of changing childcare might work best for you. In terms of making childcare work; the fit is ultimately the most
important aspect as you want a cohesive congruent feeling of the other caregiver to just ‘getting it’, like in any good partnership. Best of luck
with this and I wish you both well.