computer
Sex and relationships

Q. I opened our family computer and discovered my 14-year-old has visited several porn sites. I have no idea what to do. I’m worried about viruses and predators, but mostly dread talking to him.

Trina says
A big reason this is a difficult topic is we never say ‘porn’ around kids. Yet, it is now a modern truth: once your kid has unsupervised access to the internet, they will eventually see porn.

Understand your stance on porn and, more importantly, why. It’s not good enough to ban porn from your computer; you need to explain your personal and family values.

Whatever your values, your son’s sexual curiosity is a normal part of his development and he shouldn’t be shamed because of this exploration.

The best place to bring up this conversation is in the car, where nobody has to make eye contact (and he is trapped). Begin the conversation close to home so he can count on an imminent escape.
Give your teenager fair warning, something like, “We need to talk about internet pornography; there are a few things I want you to know.”

Don’t expect your teenager to ask a lot of questions. Rather leave it as the start of the conversation and when he is ready, he can come back and talk some more.

Sex Ed Tip
You don’t need to be an expert. Sex educators agree it’s more important to be the ‘askable parent’ than the parent with all the answers.

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