daughter's clothes are too adult
Sex and relationships

Q. My 12-year-old daughter’s clothes are too adult for her age. I understand this is a phase but how do I get her to see the style doesn’t suit her?

A.  Young women trying out her sexuality with clothing is a normal part of growing up. And parents need to appreciate the difference between clothes they don’t like and clothes that are age inappropriate.

The challenge? Sexy clothes are being marketed to tweens by celebrities dressing and behaving in overtly sexual ways.

Sadly the harsh reality is dressing in sexy clothing can garner nasty gossip and bullying on social media sites.

So this is a good jumping off point for a conversation. Non-judgmentally talk to your daughter about whether she’s comfortable and aware of the messages she sends out by what she wears. You might be surprised by her response.

One study showed girls who dressed sexy had mixed feelings about being sexy. They wanted to feel sexy but weren’t sure what to do with the reactions it got them.

Watch music videos and movies, flip through magazines together and ask what she thinks of how women are portrayed; sharing your “if-I-were-in-my-daughter’s-shoes” thoughts on it.

When your teenage girls feel loved, supported, and respected she is more likely to listen to your feedback and dress in a suitable style.

Sex ed tip

Although cringe-worthy for everyone dads should participate in this conversation too.

Trina Read. Author, sex coach, international speaker and magazine columnist, and sexologist

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