Q. I’ve been with my husband for three years and had a very good sex life. We had a baby boy five months ago and haven’t had sex once. I have tried many times to get my partner into bed. At first he made excuses but last week he blurted he sees me as a mum and respects me too much to have sex.
This is classic ‘mother-lover’ complex. Some men see women in two ways: before she was the mother of his child she was his lover; once baby arrives he now sees her as a mother and finds it hard to mix the two roles.
Did your husband grow up with a mother who was traditional and frowned on sex? If yes, this is probably where he got the idea sex and motherhood are completely separate.
This attitude can change with tender persuasion. Set up a date and have someone babysit your son for a few hours. Don’t talk about anything to do with nappies and feeding times.
Instead engage him in fun and flirty adult conversation. Start snuggling up. Ask if he’d like a back massage and then turn it sensual with your hands moving all over his body.
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When you show him that other sexual side of you, without baby coming into his mind – he will slowly accept you’re a woman of many roles.